How to Add Spice to Your Relationship

All sexual relationships usually go through a period of down time for one reason or another. Maybe you and your partner are too busy, overworked, tired, not in the mood, angry or resentful, or maybe suffering from a low libido.

Not to worry. This is the normal evolution of a sexual relationship. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are some sure-fire ways to add spice to your relationship and sex it up!

Plan a Date Night Away From Family

Yes, sometimes we can’t always be spontaneous. Planning a date night together can actually be quite arousing as you both anticipate what is going to take place on that special night. Plus, planning a night out (or in) without the kids, pets, or other distractions can give you both time to relax, and give your attention to each other. It can be simple as getting a hotel room, or sending the kids on a sleepover for the night as you get Chinese take-out and watch a romantic movie together.

Sex Outdoors or in Different Place

Summer is the time for sexy fun and what better way to celebrate than have sex outdoors? Sex on the beach under a full moon, camping in the woods, picnic in a secluded park, making out in a car on Lover’s Lane. You get the idea. Don’t forget the bug spray, sunscreen and a blanket to lay on. And, if you don’t want to chance getting caught, then try it in a different place indoors. Laundry room, kitchen, attic, bathtub or shower. Just changing up the place you normally have sex can make it more exciting and novel.

Shift the Time of Day to Suit Your Lover

Most guys get hard-ons in the morning. So, if your lover has a bit of a libido issue, you may want to get them first thing in the am while they still have morning wood. You can slowly seduce them as they wake. Pop a breath mint into your mouth and delight them to some oral sex. Get some massage oil and give them a hand job or get right into the action and jump their bone!

Eat Chocolate

Feeling like your libido is low? Eat chocolate. This sinful little indulgence provides guaranteed pleasure (some women even think it is better than sex!), and releases feel good endorphins (Serotonin) which make you feel happy and increases your body’s ability to respond sexually. It also contains PEA (phenethylamine) which stimulates the nervous system and other endorphins as well as dopamine which increases sexual desire. For guilt-free pleasure get dark chocolate which has more of the good stuff (all of the above) and less of the bad stuff (fat and sugar).

Dance, Dance, Dance!

Dancing has numerous health benefits as well as making you feel great. It delays the aging process helping you stay young, blasts away calories making you slimmer, builds muscles, and is great for the lungs and the heart. Dancing also elevates your mood by raising endorphin levels which allows you to reduce stress and depression. Not only that, but if you learn Belly dance, the art of strip tease, or pole dancing, it is also very sexy and helps boost confidence and self-esteem. So, put on some music and slow dance with your partner to turn up the heat, or give them a special show!

Sensual Massage

Erotic massage is a great way to relax, reduce stress and reconnect with your lover. It awakens the senses and activates whole-body healing, including increasing circulation while giving your skin a healthy glow, as well as releasing toxins. Plus, it is a great way to create intimacy with your lover and is a very sexy form of foreplay. It is give-give situation, as you can both trade off giving and receiving massage together. So, pick up a sensual massage oil (or make your own with olive oil and essence oils) and do some sensual healing.


Masturbation is great for the mind, not just the body. It relieves stress, is a natural sleep sedative and releases feel good mood boosting endorphins to help fight off depression. Sexologists say that self-love is empowering while promoting vitality and self-esteem, so it also makes you a better lover because you can communicate to your partner what you like. Not only that, but masturbation is great for the body and has so many health benefits. Seriously! It improves the immune system’s function, reducing the signs of aging and menopause, and may help reduce the risk of osteoporosis in older women by increasing bone mass. It can also relieve menstrual cramps, migraine headaches and chronic back pain. And, finally, as an added bonus, masturbation (along with kegel exercises) helps build a stronger pelvic floor which leads to better pleasure, control and orgasms in both men and women. Masturbation keeps your sex organs lubricated and in working order, so you are ready for sex (and more turned on) more often. Better yet, do it with your lover!

Share Your Kinky Fantasies

We are human and we all have fantasies. They may be romantic fantasies of being romanced and swept off your feet by a white night, pirate or Viking marauder. Or maybe a bit kinkier like getting spanked, experimenting with bondage, sensation play or dominance and submission. Whatever that kink is, share it with your partner. Ask them if they want to try something new in the bedroom and have a chat to see what fantasies you both share and would like to try out together in real life. It might both surprise and delight you both!

Get Some Kinky Toys

I love my kinky toys. If I am ever stuck for something fun to do in the bedroom I always can rely on my tickle trunk of kinky sex toys to make the ordinary, extraordinary. Hand cuffs—Check! Feather tickler—Check! Small flogger, ball gag, nipple clamps, butt plugs, pinwheel, monkey mask (don’t ask!)—Check! If you don’t have any kinky toys yet, but would like to get some, go shopping online and browse the huge range of kinky sex toys that are available. I’m sure you will find something you’d like to try.

Well that’s it for today’s article on spicing up your sex life. I hope you found some good ideas to get turned on and get in on, with your lover.

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